Expert Opinion: Wiping your butt the right way!


If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’ve been wiping wrong all along. It’s 2019 and the thought of shoving up pieces of dry toilet paper up our nether regions is laughable. Things are slowly changing and so should your wiping techniques.

  1. Say goodbye to wet wipes

To the uninitiated, wet wipes are marketed as effective wiping cloths that give you a sparkling you know what. This is a gimmick. A recent study revealed that continuous wet wipe usage is directly linked to an inflamed nether region. Most wet wipes have methylisothiazolinone as their preservative. Even though it’s quite efficient at prolonging the shelf life of the product, it kills all the bacteria including the beneficial ones. “Is there such a thing as beneficial bacteria?” All chemicals found on wet wipes don’t disintegrate on wiping. Most of them end up on your skin and they may trigger allergic reactions

  1. Is this a campaign on the advantages of dry toilet paper?

Short answer: No! Quick question, let’s say that you smeared hot chocolate on floor tiles, would you be able to clean efficiently using dry paper? Of course not. With this analogy, you can see that it’s impossible to clean debris off the skin by rubb8ng with a dry piece of paper. In fact, the ancient Greco Romans were bright enough to affix a wet sponge to one end of the stick and use it for post-dump hygiene. This primitive butt wiper wasn’t as effective as the ones reviewed by Comfort Fox, but it was better than nothing. We must appreciate their ingenuity. Looking back at other ancient civilizations that wiped with shells, maize cobs and other hurried-thought tools, they were better off.

  1. Get a bidet

What’s a bidet? This is an often standalone toilet accessory that sprays water between butt cheeks flushing out any residing waste. Even though most nations in the West have been slow to adopt this efficient cleaning mechanism, it’s easy to include a DIY installation. Is it because it feels weird not drying up?

  1. Add a soft touch

We know it’s time to stop wiping when we see clear toilet paper. After finishing your business, hold a dry square piece of toilet paper and slowly dab over the area to absorb any excess moisture. Take it easy and be gentle. When you scrub too hard, micro tears may form on the anal region. DO your thing gently and thoroughly lest you end up with uncomfortable tears or (worse) haemorrhoids.




Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here